craftycntrygrl

Hungry

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 16:20:32 GMT

Thanksgiving put me off track. I got a little down because I had joined a community challenge, posted my weight, but for some reason was disqualified and now I don't have that motivation to keep me going. That had really, really helped me stay on track.

I did wonderful on Thanksgiving at Brian's folks house. I had a small plate and ate just enough to make it look like I was eating. It wasn't until we went to my Mom's best friends home (where my family had dinner since it was our first holiday without Dad) that I fell apart. She had lots of little "mini" desserts - sample sizes. That started my binge. I was so prepared to turn down a slice of pumpkin pie or pecan pie .. but I just couldn't seem to turn away from the mini cheesecake or the fudge.

I haven't gotten back on track yet. 2 days off and today I AM going to be good. I have to be - I can't gain back all of my hard work.

Weight

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 04:29:38 GMT

So when I started restricting again not long ago - (Monday? Sunday?) I weighed 237.8. As of this morning I weighed 228.8. Not bad for a week's work or slightly less than a week. I feel awful though because Mom MADE me go out to dinner with her tonight and I had fish and chips. I feel so full and disgusting. I hate this feeling .. I remember it well but part of me welcomes it because it means I know I'm back in "the mode."

When I was eating everything in sight and gaining this weight eating a normal dinner didn't bother me - now I feel like a pig. Now I know I'm back on track.

WTF is wrong with me????

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 07:12:26 GMT

I just binged again .. this is the 2nd night in a row. I didn't mean to but I came home and there were the fixings for nachos on the counter .. and I had 2 bowls. I'd had like 700 calories before that and now .. well who knows. How in the fuck am I ever going to be skinny .. WTF is wrong with me?

Today

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 06:59:40 GMT

Well today was a little hard .. I actually went over calories and had 810 calories. I know it was a 700 day but I just couldn't help it. I was in total binge mode but instead of binging on pizza or burger and fries I had a baked potato with 1/4 cheese. I made it a kind of healthy binge .. and instead of coming up 1000 calories in the hole I'm only 110 in the hole.

So I'm really disappointed but proud of myself still. I've lost 13 lbs so far. I refuse to give up.

Another Loss

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 04:46:33 GMT

Down -4.4 lbs this week so that's a total of 22. At least it's a start....

Rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 08:53:03 GMT

I've been sooooooo good the last several days. I haven't eaten a lot and I've finally started getting in my water. 2-3 liters of water a day and 2-3 liters of ice tea a day when I just can't STAND another drop of water lol Have I lost? Not an OUNCE! WTF? Does my body need to adjust to this water or what? Anyone else ever experienced this?

Soooo

Sat, 08 Jan 2005 23:26:35 GMT

So today was my 5th weigh in since restriction started again and I've lost 9 lbs. I was a little disappointed because I only lost .4 today but oh well..it's something. I can't wait for the XBox to get here so that I can start working out again.

This being sick has been really icky. But at least the family hasn't questioned why I'm not eating a lot.

Tara's Sick pout

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 01:53:32 GMT

Yes I am sick. Been sick since yesterday and today it's even worse. I don't think I'll be going into work tomorrow.

On the restricting front I've been trying to keep my Cal intake up near 1000 just so I can drop it later. After talks with Twin it's been decided that this would be the best for me. Still, I've been more like 850-900 calories. Even with my binge after the first night I've dropped 4.8 lbs as of this morning and 2 days back on restriction.

Going to go and make some soup now and even with that, the banana for breakfast, and my granola bar I'm still not even at 600 calories. Ugh! Brian is picking up some fat free milk for me so I can make some fat free chocolate pudding.

Ok so update

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 04:32:00 GMT

Ok so I was supposed to start restriction again on the 26th but that hasn't worked. I'm trying to be smart about this this time. My mental state is the same but I dont want to lose 10 lbs either and have my folks or Brian notice and get all over my ass again.

So Brian's birthday dinner is on Sunday night. Monday I start restriction because he and I are going away (15 miles up the road) as he's on vacation and it's his birthday. Still, that means being as I have to work every morning, and he knows I get free lunch at work, when I get back to the hotel after I can just say I ate breakfast and lunch at work. I'll stock the hotel fridge with fruit cups and have what he thinks is dessert.

I know I have to restrict and STRONGLY. I can't do the 1000 calories a day because I always go over. It's got to be like LITTLE. Like when I went to Montana to meet Ryan, lost the 20 lbs in 2 weeks by eating only pickle slices = about what? 60 calories a day. I'm going to start on more than that because then when I stall I can drop my calorie intake.

Last I looked I was 248..I'll weigh again before Monday just because I dont want to actually drop 5 lbs, get on the scale and it. I'll post my new weight when I rebegin....for the sake of trying to sound sane I'll say my goal for my birthday (march 8th) which is 9 weeks from when I will begin, is 30 lbs. That's 3.3 lbs a week....easy..but that means I can feel great when I exceed that.

The PLAN

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 06:42:09 GMT

Ok so I have got to do something about my weight again. The minute everyone was watching me I started packing on the pounds again and lost all of my will and determination. Still, that was 2 years ago so I'm sure if I start slowly I can do this and they wont' notice..at least until it doesn't really matter as much. I just have to remember to get my hair vitamins so I don't lose my hair again like I did last time.

I have 20 weeks until my birthday trip to Montana and I would like to lose at least 60 lbs. That really sounds easy! That's only 3 lbs a week..hopefully I can lose more but if not well that's ok. I could deal with 60 at that time and then take the rest off then.

Talked to someone who lost almost 40 in a month eating only apple sauce and pepto when her stomach hurt. So I may start eating only apple sauce and as I stall just eat less and less of it. Sugar free of course.

I will start on December 26th.